This is part 6 in a series of posts.
Part 1: Introduction | Part 2 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Godliness | Part 3 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Relationships | Part 4 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Stewardship | Part 5 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Joy & Peace in Christ | Part 6: Why is Social Media & Technology so Addicting? | Part 7: Applications
This material was first presented in a talk at First Baptist Church in Durham, N.C. Watch it here.
We’ve now looked at the various ways social media and technology can effect us spiritually and emotionally. If we agree on all that why is it so hard to dial back our social media and technology use to a healthy degree? Let’s look at that now
Understanding Why Social Media & Technology is so Addicting
We Are the Product
We have to realize that we are the product. Social media platforms seek to capture our attention as long as possible so they can show us more ads. Our attention spans have been monetized, as one author said. The documentary The Social Dilemma expounds on this.[1]
Listen to this startling admission from Facebook CEO Sean Parker:
The thought process that went into building these applications, Facebook being the first of them, was all about: “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?” And that means that we need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever. [2]
Imagine having an alcohol rep living in your house who is financially incentivized to get you to drink more. Would you want that person in your house? If you have social media on your phone then in a sense you carry a person like that in your pocket.
Getting to the Heart of Technology Overuse: Why is it So Hard to Say No?
The technology itself is actively seeking to consume our attention, but we also bear responsibility. That’s because our phones are simply an extension of our hearts. What we desire is connected to what we say and do. Let’s look at a few reasons why it can be so hard to limit our use of social media and technology.
Praise of Man
One reason we fear stepping back from social media is the praise of man.
Donna Freitas in her book The Happiness Effect includes one insightful quote from a female student:
People used to do things and then post them, and the approval you gained from whatever you were putting out there was a byproduct of the actual activity. Now the anticipated approval is what’s driving the behavior or the activity.[3]
In other words, we used to do things and posting about them later was a byproduct. Now we do things to post.” We post, we tweet in hopes of getting likes. We want to have a life worth of envying.
But Scripture tells us to only worry about one like. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it heartily as for the Lord and not for man, knowing that from the Lord you will receive your inheritance as your reward.” We know that in Christ, God says to us, “You are my son or daughter. I love you. I died for you, so work joyfully for me.” There’s no better master we could have than our perfect, loving, heavenly father. Yet, we trade working to please God, for working to please man. What a terrible trade!
As Tony Reinke writes, “We feed on the nibbles of man’s approval and stay eternally starved!”[4]
If you are exhausted from stressing about likes or depressed about the number of followers you have then you need to hear Jesus’ life giving words from Matthew 11:28, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.” You don’t need good works, likes or followers to come to God. You just need Jesus Christ freely given for you. And the best part is we can never be separated from his love (Rom. 8:38-39).
But the praise of man isn’t the only reason we feel compelled to use social media.
Failure to Understand What True Pleasure Is
Social media can offer pleasure that’s alluring but ultimately subpar.
Andy Crouch’s teenage daughter wrote the foreword to his book. In it she makes this statement which may be surprising coming from a teenager raised in the social media age.
Technology promises that it can provide wonder…But this promise is deceptive. My iPhone’s wonder generators, from Instagram to Temple Run, turn out to be only distractions from the things that really spark wonder. No multitude of glowing rectangles will ever be able to replace a single bumblebee. And that’s the real legacy of tech-wise parenting for me. It has shown me where to look for what I need most. Wonder comes from opening your eyes wider, not bringing the screen closer.[5]
Phones offer a very convenient entertainment that is very tempting. But in the end is it the best use of our time? Is scrolling on the couch creating the memories we want to look back on? Is mindlessly looking at our screens truly enriching our life and relationships? J.C. Ryle said, “Not all that pleases for a time is true pleasure,”[6] or as Cal Newport writes: “Doing nothing is overrated.”[7]
Instead, we should use our leisure time to create memories, make products and develop skills that are truly a blessing to us and to others. We’ll come back to that later in applications.
So, we are tempted by the easy pleasure of phones, but in the end we find that phones often distract us from true pleasure in this world.
Failure to Understand What True Relationships Are
But phones don’t only offer second-rate pleasure, they also tempt us with substandard relationships. People may agree with everything above, but at the end of the day they don’t want to miss out or not have friends and everyone is on social media. Yet, are the relationships we maintain online really the relationships we want?
Online can be a great way to connect with people, and an incredible provision to talk with loved ones who are far away. But online interaction is also shallow. COVID made it very clear how superior in-person gatherings are. Everyone is tired of Zoom and wants to be in person together. We want to laugh together, have conversation in real-time, make eye-contact and make memories together. Technology is a fine place to recount memories, it’s a terrible place to make them. Even the apostle John writing in 3 John says, “There is much I want to say, but I’d rather not use ink and pen, but will wait to see you face-to-face.”
When we spend time pursuing more meaningful conversation rather than simply connecting, then the friends we will have will be substantive and meaningful.
To Ease or Drown Our Conscience:
Lastly, we use social media to distract us from the significant things we know we should be focusing on. Tony Reinke points out that we use phones to keep away work because of laziness. We use our phones to keep people away cause we don’t want to be asked hard questions or have to be honest with them. We even use our phones to keep away thoughts of God. In other words, we use our phones to suppress our conscience. We know we should get back to work, or call that friend and have an honest conversation, or pick up our Bible or pray, but it’s all too easy to grab our phone and swipe away our convictions.[8]
So, what do we do? How do we use technology for our good and God’s glory? In the final post we will look at some specific applications.
Part 1: Introduction | Part 2 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Godliness | Part 3 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Relationships | Part 4 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Stewardship | Part 5 – Biblical Principles at Stake: Joy & Peace in Christ | Part 6: Why is Social Media & Technology so Addicting? | Part 7: Applications
[1] Jeff Orlowski, The Social Dilemma, 2020.
[2] Newport, Digital Minimalism. 19.
[3] Freitas, The Happiness Effect. 4.
[4] Reinke, 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You. 77.
[5] Crouch, The Tech-Wise Family. 11-12.
[6] J.C. Ryle, Thoughts for Young Men (London: Banner of Truth, 2015). 25.
[7] Newport, Digital Minimalism. 212.
[8] Reinke, 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You. 43.
Mike McGregor
Mike McGregor (MDiv, Reformed Theological Seminary) is Director of College Ministry at First Baptist Church in Durham, N.C. You can follow him on Twitter at @m5mcgregor.
