Is it ever okay to lie?
We know that lying is condemned as a sin in the Bible (The ninth commandment – Exod. 20:16). But is lying always a sin? What about people who were asked by Nazi soldiers if they were hiding Jews during WWII? What about other forms of deception like lying to kids about a surprise party? Are all forms of deception sin?
What is a lie?
First, we must get a clear definition of what a lie is. John Frame is very helpful here:
A lie is not simply an untrue statement. A mistake is not a lie. A parable is not a lie, even though it may describe events that did not happen historically. A fictional story is not a lie unless the author pretends it is factual.…In games (whether board games or athletic contests) strategy often dictates deception. Everyone understands this and participates with that understanding. That is part of the fun of it. When the quarterback hides the ball and thereby misdirects the defense, he deceives them, but nobody would call him a liar…[1]
So how should we define a lie? Frame offers this definition: “A lie is a word or act that intentionally deceives a neighbor in order to hurt him. It is false witness against a neighbor.”[2]
This definition makes sense since the ninth commandment describes the sin of lying in the context of a relationship: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exod. 20:16). So, there is a relational element to the command not to lie, which is why Frame’s definition rightly incorporates deceiving others in order to harm them.
This is a less restrictive take on the ninth commandment than others such as Augustine and John Murray[3] have taken. However, I’m inclined to agree with Frame. There are various instances in the Bible where God’s people use deception and it is not condemned (Exod. 1:15-21 – The Israelite midwives lying to the Egyptians to save Hebrew babies; Josh. 2:4-6 – Rahab’s deception which is vindicated in Heb. 11:31; 1 Sam. 20:6 – David tells Jonathan to deceive his father Saul; 2 Kings 6:14-20 – Elisha misleads the Syrian troops.) Further, there are untruths that we wouldn’t describe as lying such as Jesus telling parables or employing acts of deception like hiding his identity from the disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:16) and acting as if he were going further (Luke 24:28). It would seem that according to Scripture not all deception is considered sinful. This idea of deceiving for the right reasons needs more explaining.
Prioritization in the law
Frame explains something called prioritization in the law which is a very helpful principle for Christians seeking to make ethical decisions in light of Scripture. Frame writes, “The law that he reveals to us is a system, a comprehensive way of life in which the supreme goal is to bring glory to him (1 Cor. 10:31). Within that system, some elements are more important, more pressing, than others.”[4]
There are many examples in Scripture of certain laws taking precedence over others (Matt. 23:23; Hosea 6:6; Matt. 12:31-32; John 19:11). One clear example is the Bible’s instruction to submit to human authorities (Rom. 13:1). This is an important rule, “but it is subordinate to our higher duty to obey God.”[5] This is why the apostles disobeyed the Sanhedrin’s orders to stop preaching the gospel (Acts 5:29).
This isn’t an excuse to do what God’s Word forbids for a good moral reason. For example, some might argue, “Since it’s okay to lie to save lives, then it’s okay to engage in sexual immorality if I truly love the person.” There are two reasons this is faulty logic. One, God’s Word forbids sexual immorality whereas it doesn’t condemn saving lives. Two, sexual immorality does not truly love another person.
Tragic Moral Choice
Understanding prioritization in the law also helps us explain the so-called tragic moral choice. These are situations in which it is assumed that we must choose the lesser of two evils and that there is not a path that doesn’t result in sin. The most common example is the one cited earlier of people choosing to lie to SS soldiers or handing over Jews who would likely die. Some theologians have proposed that we should act in such situations as wisely as we can and then run to Christ for forgiveness since sinning is unavoidable.[6] Yet, Frame points out several problems with this proposed tragic moral choice:
- It makes God’s Word contradictory.
- It means God’s Word counsels us to sin,
- If Jesus faced tragic moral choices then either he sinned, or he never faced such choices and therefore wasn’t “tempted in every way we were yet without sin” (Heb. 2:13),
- 1 Cor. 10:13 says God will provide the way of escape in times of temptation. Yet, if tragic moral choices exist then this verse can’t be true since God wouldn’t be supplying for us a way of escape.
Rather than tragic moral choices, there is a decision that wisely discerns what the “weightier matters of the law” are (Matt. 23:23), though not every Christian may arrive at the same conclusion (John Piper and Wayne Grudem’s disagreement about the 2020 presidential election reveals this). Though there aren’t tragic moral choices, it is still appropriate to speak of choosing the “lesser of two evils” since causing an evil (pain or suffering) is not necessarily the same thing as a wrong (sinning against God). Oftentimes evils are caused by sinful wrongs, but not always. For example, a doctor inflicts pain to heal, just war theory is legitimate, and a just punishment for criminals is not wrong.
Conclusion
The arguments above are not meant to be a blank check to lie as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Rather, we are bound to tell the truth unless clearly prohibited by a greater priority in God’s Word or in such trivial cases as fiction, acting or a game where such deception is understood and accepted. Some may say lying in business or politics is expected and normative and therefore morally excused, but this would be a wrong conclusion. Unlike a game or story, which is pure entertainment, deception in business and politics affects real people who are expecting people to tell the truth. Perhaps the starkest example of how deception can harm others is the polarization of social media where falsehoods spread at six times the rate as truthful posts.
We should always speak truth except in circumstances where it’s clear weightier matters of the law demand deception or concealment of truth. We must speak the truth even when it may lead to relational awkwardness. Of course, we should be gentle, not feeling compelled to share every gritty detail, but nevertheless we must share truth with others. If you want concrete proof that truth encounters matter just look at my haircut in 2012 in light of the fact that I had what I thought to be friends who loved me.
So those who lied to Nazi soldiers about hiding Jews weren’t sinning. They rightly prioritized preserving life over deception. Can parents deceive their child about a surprise party? Since they are not deceiving to harm them it is likely fine, although, I’d still encourage vagueness over lying since young children struggle to decipher between appropriate deception and sinful dishonesty. Is it harmful for a parent to tell their child that Santa Claus exists? That’s a hard question. Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ and the incarnation. Santa Claus is mostly an invention of consumerism. Santa Claus may be based off of a Christian named Saint Nicklaus, but those connections are typically left out when a parent is telling their child that Santa Claus is a real person. Therefore, I would argue that deceiving a child about the existence of Santa Claus is wrong since it potentially causes them to disobey the first commandment to love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength as they would be giving to Santa Claus honor, credit, and adoration that is due to Christ alone.
Understanding what a lie is and implementing prioritization in God’s law should help us retain a clear conscience while seeking to make wise ethical decisions as Christians.
[1] John M. Frame, The Doctrine of the Christian Life, First edition (Phillipsburg, N.J: P & R Publishing, 2008). 834-35.
[2] Frame. 835
[3] John Murray, Principles of Conduct: Aspects of Biblical Ethics (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 1957). 123-148
[4] Frame, The Doctrine of the Christian Life. 224
[5] Frame. 226
[6] John Warwick Montgomery, The Suicide of Christian Theology, Presumed to be 1st as edition is unstated (Canadian Institute for Law, Theology & Public Policy, Inc., 1970). 69.
Mike McGregor
Mike McGregor (MDiv, Reformed Theological Seminary) is Director of College Ministry at First Baptist Church in Durham, N.C. You can follow him on Twitter at @m5mcgregor.
